By Thomas Merton
The 3rd quantity of Thomas Merton's journals chronicles Merton's makes an attempt to reconcile his hope for solitude and contemplation with the calls for of his new-found big name prestige in the strictures of traditional monastic life.
Read Online or Download A Search for Solitude: Pursuing the Monk's True LifeThe Journals of Thomas Merton, Volume 3: 1952-1960 (Merton, Thomas Journal of Thomas Merton) PDF
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Extra resources for A Search for Solitude: Pursuing the Monk's True LifeThe Journals of Thomas Merton, Volume 3: 1952-1960 (Merton, Thomas Journal of Thomas Merton)
John of the Cross demands for the purification of a soul can easily be fulfilled. The cross is here. I am sure it is also at Camaldoli. I would not go there seeking anything else. But since it is already here…The only thing that remains to be seen is whether God wills change or not. For that I am wishing, without excitement and without fever. His goodness and His love alone suffice. His cross is enough, for it is the sign of mercy. October 22, 1952 Since my retreat I have been having another one of those nervous breakdowns.
What exhausts me is the entertainment of all my illusions. At least let me get rid of the greatest illusion of all, and start to live all over again–or to die. For I feel sometimes as if, having admitted my complete futility as a monk, it would be decent to offer God my life and make preparation for everything by dying. No such offering would make sense unless it implied an equal willingness to live and be perfect, in obedience to Him–and to do penance. Whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.
False humility is no protection against this vanity which turns the glory of God into a lie. And at the root of it is our forgetfulness of the fear of God. ). We live as if God existed for our sakes, figuring that we exist for Him. We use grace as if it were matter handed over to form according to our pleasure. We use the truth of God as material for the fabrication of idols. We forget that we are the matter and His grace is the form imposed upon us by His wisdom. Does the clay understand the work of the potter?