By Crittenden, Patricia McKinsey
This ebook explores an integration of principles from attachment conception and systemic relatives treatment together with present advancements and built-in cases.
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Additional resources for Attachment and family therapy
What kind of a relationship has this early intervention worker got with Mrs Freeman? We suspect not a very close one. If she had, she might have looked her in the eye or sympathized as she saw how ineptly her daughter was handling the baby; this would have been an emotional communication that acknowledged the reality of the situation. We must also wonder whether the worker – or any other worker – has ever talked with Mrs Freeman about how she felt when she recognized that her daughter had a ‘learning disability’?
Are we able to ‘contain’ – that is, both hear and understand – her feelings and her anger without feeling overwhelmed? Two considerations can help with this process. Recognition that where there is anger, there may also be vulnerability: holding both sides of the coin in mind may help us tune into the pain which underlies Mrs Freeman’s anger. This, when we find it, will be the ‘critical cause’ that can turn everything around. What is our own attachment strategy? How do we ourselves manage distress, anger and our need to be protected and understood?
Probably this means being more sensitively responsive to Melinda than is easy for her mum, but this bit of attention in toddlerhood can prevent years of struggle between them. Interpersonal breaches and repair of breaches Miscommunication occurs all the time! No parent has enough time, attention, and patience to monitor their child every moment and adapt their behaviour perfectly to subtle changes in children’s behaviour. Instead, this dyadic dance to shifting tempos, with new steps added daily, contains ever so many missteps.